Human nature is a crazy and unpredictable thing. The actions, thoughts, and feelings that make up a person are convoluted at best; so much so that sometimes that very person is rendered powerless to understand or navigate the labyrinth effectively. And, to make matters worse, those actions, thoughts, and feelings are clouded and shaped by current perceptions and past experiences, all the way back to childhood.
It’s no wonder that, without a strong and steady compass, so many people get lost and confused.
If that person cannot navigate on his/her own, can you imagine the impact this person will have on other people in his/her life? Sometimes without even knowing it? Like a ship without a rudder in a storm, it is only a matter of time before a collision occurs.
All of us are susceptible to this, not only to being navigationally-challenged, but also to being on the receiving end of someone who is. We are all human, and inherently imperfect; hence, on a daily basis we struggle with these exact issues.
My questions are: How do we best adjust for this element of our humanness? How do we recover from being the victim of the navigationally-challenged? And, a more difficult question, how do we prevent ourselves from victimizing others by our own personal challenges; basically, how do we stop the vicious cycle?
Each of these questions has only two answers:
- Honing the ability to see the goodness in each other instead of focusing on the imperfections or the things they might do to hurt us
- Learning how to trust
In “How to Trust People – Even When You Expect the Worst” on Oprah.com, the author, Alina Tugend, suggests that trying to not judge or pre-assess why someone is doing something, and instead accepting his action at face value, can be less taxing on our day-to-day efforts and can actually make us feel better about ourselves in the process, especially when it turns out that the person really did not have any ill-intent.
But, the best part of this is that being a victim becomes less of a concern. Because instead of generating negative energy on the hurtful and possibly emotionally degrading elements of your interactions with the person, you can focus on the good points of light in that person, no matter how small and flickering they may be. In this way, you begin to create positive energy and a connection with others, thereby contributing constructively to the bigger picture of why we are all here.
“Once you see the light, there’s no way you can be casual about it. It gets hold of you. It moves you and shakes you. Even if you try to push it aside and turn your back on it, it haunts you…,” says the author of “Seeing the Light”.
In my own experience, I have employed this approach to the hurtful actions of other people and it has helped me to move past my pain. In the process, I have experienced freedom of mind and of spirit.
There is no denying that we are all connected in some manner, if only by our humanness. So, if we are all connected, what would be the point in stressing, severing, or otherwise permanently weakening one of the connecting links?
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