I am here to tell you that who or what did it to you is irrelevant. Really…and in more than only a literal sense.
What is relevant is that it came out of the blue like hot shrapnel, ripping through your perception of your very existence, your own reality. Drilling holes through your ego, your perseverance, your compassion, your memories, your stability.
Questions reel through your mind. Questions about why and what did you do wrong or what could you have done better.
Bottom line is that right about now, you may be lying in the dumpsite, crumpled and sore, wondering what just hit you and slowly awakening to a brand new kind of reality.
The pain, unfortunately, is still there. You are probably wondering when it will stop, but you would be happy if it would just dull down a bit.
It threatens to drag you lower as each day passes.
Well, I’m here to tell you that I’ve been there and the pain isn’t going away soon, and it certainly isn’t going to feel better on its own.
It needs a swift kick in the ass, from you.
If you want to get closer to less pain, you have to change the way you think about what has just happened.
When you change your mindset, you alter your approach. As issues of pain become non-issues, you can emerge from the devastation.
Let’s use a breakup as our example to illustrate only some possible symptoms of the pain you may be experiencing:
Positive Spin #1 – Are you nauseous and/or lack an appetite? If so, look on the bright side of it; you might be losing weight. Just think of how many months and hours at the gym it might have taken for you to lose that final 2 or 3 pounds.
Positive Spin #2 – Did you used to spend a lot of time and/or effort doing things a certain way to please your ex? If so, look on the bright side of it; you won’t have to worry about those anymore. Just think of all the free time you will have to pursue other things.
Positive Spin #3 – Are you losing sleep over it all? If so, look on the bright side of it; you now can use that free time to get caught up on movies, TV shows, or a good book that you missed before because you were wasting time with your ex.
Positive Spin #4 – Are you dreading the dating scene? If so, look on the bright side of it; you will now have the opportunity to meet and really get to know the other people in your life.
Positive Spin #5 – Are you distracted and unable to focus? If so, look on the bright side of it; you can use that lack of focus to delve into something creative and new – something that within the confines of the failed relationship would not have been possible.
Positive Spin # 6 – Are you feeling empty, possibly rejected? If so, look on the bright side of it; you can use the energy you generate from those types of thoughts to get connected with a stronger you and your higher power.
I think you get the picture now. And, I know I’ve missed a bunch of issues. Please feel free to comment if you know of other “spins” I might have missed here.
The takeaway from this post is that you can and will survive this. There is another side; a side that is brighter and more promising if you let it be.
And after you reach that side, there is an open door just beyond it, waiting for you to enter.
© 2010-2013 Kimberly Yoss. All rights reserved. No part of this online publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior approval from Kimberly Yoss.