“New Years Eve is like any other night. There is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness of other nights.” ~ Hamilton Wright Marble
On one side stands regret, pain suffered, hopes unfulfilled, glory realized. A panoply of events that have already shed their own unique shadows on our daily existence. If you are lucky, you experienced events in 2012 that shed light instead of shadows.
On the other side stands new hope, anticipation of change and progress, possibly a bit of fear. Trepidation.
Yet, this night is like any other night. The darkness comes, hangs around for a little while, and is overcome by the dawn of the following day.
Funny how this night causes us to think differently. So much fanfare and celebration when this same event occurs every 24 hours.
When I stand on this line each year, I use it as my last chance ~ the ultimate opportunity~ to take one last parting glance over my shoulder.
I glance back there and wonder at it all: at the things I wish I had done differently, at the words I wish I had said, at the things I wish I had done, at the words I said that I wish I could take back.
All of it is technically in the past and was in the past the minute it happened. I am powerless to change the exact circumstances of the event. But the event and its effects, real or perceived, still linger in my mind.
As they linger, they swirl and agitate me. Of course, they can do this because I allow them that power. Each day, despite my efforts to let go, is a new day in which I struggle to look ahead but am held back by what could have been.
On this day, I toe the line into the future.
I take one last, lingering glance at what was, and then I turn to face the future, unencumbered by the past.
If I allow those thoughts to come back after I cross the line, it is only so that they can propel me to bigger and better things by the power of the lessons I learned.
Happy 2013 to everyone! May your celebrations of yet another day be safe and may your focus be into the new day instead of into the darkness behind you.
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