This week I made progress.
All it took was resolve and creative time management. But, mostly, it took resolve.
It took me putting my foot down in front of procrastination and rationalization. It took me saying “enough is enough”. It took a pep talk from the pragmatic side of me.
My pep talk to myself sounded something like this:
“Let’s face it, Kim, you have a half-marathon in just about 3 months. You know by experience how quickly that date is going to be in your face, pushing you around and questioning your ability. It will start as a tiptoe and will end in a mad dash. You’ve been there and done that. You know the pain that comes from ignoring it and pretending that you are in better shape and have more time than you really do. You know that frustration already. Why put yourself in that position? Again…
Remember San Antonio? How quickly you have forgotten the physical pain of the ITB; pain that was brought on by inadequate training. Those last 3 miles. Thank God for the angel He sent to get you through closer to your terms. You know you need Him but you would have been able to savor the achievement so much better if you had done more of it yourself. He placed that desire in your heart and what did you do? You wasted it. And you hated yourself afterward. And that pain is still with you. You know this.
The pain of failure. The pain brought on by fractured pride.
You have your goal. You have made it publicly known. It is real now. No denying this.
Now, get off your butt and do what you say you are going to do.”
Yep, it went something like that.
Bottom line: There is nothing stopping me now but me. I have the tools and I know how to use them. Now I only have to pick them up and put them to work for me.
With that in mind, I set my weekly goal this past Sunday.
With the exception of a little glitch on Monday brought on by requirements of my job, I followed through.
My trainer at the gym was very happy to see me. But, I could tell she was somewhat let down, disappointed in me that I hadn’t followed through like I had said I would in the previous weeks.
And she doesn’t know me very well yet. I made up for it by kicking the ass of the workout she had planned for me.
My resolve is my strongest asset. Sometimes it just takes a little while to push myself to the wall where there is no where else to turn except into the face of the goals I have set…into the face of a better, stronger me…on my terms.
Now, off to the gym….
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